Holding on to the Impossible
by shippers.heart
Summary: "A woman was found hurt in an abounded building. She appeared in a flash of brilliant blue light, she was hurt and fought off three men, and right now she is in dire need of help, Doctor." Vastra paused, "that woman… that life just happens to be Professor River song." Vastra blurted out causing the man to stop dead in his tracks. "That's impossible. she is dead," he shoot back


_**Holding on to the Impossible**_

Hello everyone, so this idea came to we while watching snowman. I just thought instead of an Clara appearing will bring in an amnesia River. First of all i do mean to take any credit for anything doctor who, because that is Steven moffat's baby. So here is the first chapter and be expecting 18 give or take. Also in case you couldn't tell i could use a beta and if you read this and would be interested just message me.

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Prepare for obliteration human scum," Strax barracks as he handcuffs the strange looking man before him, before an estrange cough echoes behind him, causing him to turn slightly. "What is it boy?" he barks fastening the cuffs tight, causing the victim to yell out.

"Actually Mr. Strax if you could so kindly take him outside I have men waiting for him." Letting out a sigh, he turned to see the angry glare of Jenny and Vastra focused on him.

"As you wish," he chimed in sardonically, before usher the man out mumbling "Filthy human scum," as he exited, causing both women to roll her eyes.

"Sorry, he is new," Jenny quickly added her voice holding a sense of irritation as she watched their newest member wobble out criminal in tow.

Yes… funny looking fellow, Turkish is he?" the man asked a puzzled look on his face, which only grew even more so when Vastra turned to face him removing the black veil that had hidden her face.

"He is a genetic modified warrior from outer space," she quickly corrected him, smiling as a bewildered smile crossed his face.

"Ah… hum… well that explains it," he stumbled out before quickly changing the subject. "Well… what a case identical twin, poison indictable by science, only to be followed by an ancient Egyptian curse." Taking a deep breath he released it. "Once more Scotland yard is in your diet… I'm scared to say where we would be without your expertise."

"Dead," Vastra quickly chimed in and watched as the man stared unblinking at her, before down at his feet.

"You might be right," he added before glancing back up and away quickly.

"Is there something a mature inspector?" she questioned knowingly trying to hide her amusement.

"Hum.. Does it ever hurt?" he asked, leaning in as if the matter was sinister in nature. The two women looked at each other puzzled before the man pointed to his own face, "Your skin condition."

It's not a condition, inspector," Jenny chimed in almost protectively. "It's her skin… just skin."

"What?" the man questioned an large smile on his face, as he tried to hide his uncertainty.

"I'm as I made have forgotten to mention an intelligent reptilian creature from an ancient clivilation long proceeding mankind. Many of my kind still slumber beneath the earth's crust as we speak."

"Madam was woken due to the extension of the London underground," Jenny chimed in earning a saucy glance from her reptilian lover.

"Yes, that is correct and though I wasn't too keen on the society of apes, I made one huge mistake." With that she paused offering Jenny a soft smile. "I fell in love."

"With the small fellow, Mr. Strax," the statement caused both jenny and Vastra to turn with amused grins on their faces.

"No, not with the Turkish fellow," she said as she pulled jenny in close. Closer than what was considered proper, a huge smile echoing on both their faces as realization landed on the inspectors face.

"Oh Lord," was all he could mutter as the two walked from the manor arm in arm, giggling.

"It's about bloody time," Strax braked as the two emerged from the home. "If I have to hear one more Earthling whine, I will declare war on the pathetic race."

Rolling their eyes, Jenny opened the door allowing Vastra to enter before joining her. Once snug inside Jenny tapped the top and off they went. "You know I was certain that this one would have gotten the Doctor's attention." Jenny says before allowing her eyes to migrate to the moving surroundings.

"No, my dear," Vastra said softly, offering a reassuring and sudden smile as she squeezed Jenny's hand drawing the young girl's eyes back to her own. "And I'm afraid nothing will at this time."

"He can't sulk in his box forever." Jenny says almost angrily before Vastra patted her hand.

"Heartbreak is a burden to us all pity the man that has two," as sadden look crossed Jenny's face as she sighed, noting her lover's word were true. He had lost many in his long life, but the loss of his ponds had been something completely different. He hadn't lost a companion in New York he had lost a family, only to have the one person that could relate pulled from his life as well.

Both Jenny and Vastra could relate to that, and for a moment the carriage was quite. That is until Strax's voice could be heard as the horses jerked to a stop, causing both women to grab the small cloth above the door to keep from being thrown forward. "Bloody Hell," Jenny shouted her eyes narrowed as she throws the door open a un-lady-like curse ready on her tongue, until she saw the chaos ahead of them.

Carriages were abound as people hurried away, or maybe it was toward the chaos. A woman's voice could be heard shirking, and men screaming where is it, what was that, find it and kill it. Jenny turned to Vastra both sharing a nod before hopping out of the carriage, before hurrying toward the commotion. As they get closer they could see a bunch of men lying on the floor clearly injured, while others shine lanterns into a dark doorway of a what looked to be abounded building.

"What's going on?" Jenny asked as she stepped up next to a woman whose eyes were wide with what looked like fear. "Madam," Jenny asked again, this time shaking the woman lightly, bring her attention back to reality.

"An attack," the woman said, her eyes finding Jenny's. "Something appeared in a flash of blue, causing my husband's carriage to swerve. He exited it along with other gentlemen that had seen it, they said it ran inside so they followed, but whatever it was attacked them from the darkness. They are trying to find it now..."

Jenny shared a look with Vastra of worry and confusion, "What the hell is going out here?" a familiar voice echoed from behind the crowd, causing them all to side step, allowing the two women to come face to face with the very man they had left just moments ago.

Noticing the two he hurried up, three of his men in tow. "Madam Vastra," he said with a nod before leaning forward to whisper. "What is all this ruckus, and why is there three men laying beaten on the ground." The reptilian woman took a deep breath before turning toward the doorway that lead into the pitch blackness

"Whatever has these people scared is hiding among the darkness in there," she said, gesturing with her head in toward the building. "You best bet inspector is to clear out the people and allow my gang to handle these matters." The man didn't question, but he also knew not to. With a nod, he and his officers started to clear away bystanders before seeking help for the injured ones.

Turning back to the building's doorway, Jenny allowed her eyes to scan every bit, hoping for some sense of movement but there wasn't any. "What do you think is in there? I must be rather nasty to have taken out those men, " she inquired her eyes moving over to the covered face of her lover."I'm not certain, but I do know that whatever is in there hasn't met me." Vastra quickly said turning to Jenny who had a smug look on her face. The inspector quickly led the bystanders away before making the area a crime scene and putting his men on watch to make sure the area was secure before walking back over to the two women and one funny looking man.

"The area is secure, madam Vastra." The inspector said, turning back toward the alleyway. "Are you certain you want to venture in there without backup… I mean three rather burly guys just were beaten by whatever was in there?"

"Oh inspector I have no need for back up," Vastra added as she nodded toward Jenny, before they begin to strip down. Within seconds they both stood in rather tight looking cat suits their weapons ready. "Are you ready?" she asked and Jenny nodded, pulling out a strange device that illuminated the darkness.

Slowly the two walked inside, leaving Strax stand outside and guard. The building was rather large and held machines that could easily conceal. "Keep your eyes sharp my dear," Vastra said softly as not to alert whatever was looming within the massive structure. Suddenly a loud crash caused both women to turn quickly, shining their light in the direction of what looked like a broom closet. Looking over at Vastra, Jenny gestured that she was going on and quickly pulled up her gun.

"On the count of three." She said. "One, two, three." One three Jenny busted open the door, gun drawn and ready for anything. "Find anything?" Vastra called out to her, after a moment before walking into the room that resembled an office instead of a closet.

"No, it seems empty," she said shinning her light only pausing when a glimmer of something on the floor catches her attention. Walking over to a shiny spot on the floor, she reached her hand down to touch the warm, thick substance, "There's a puddle of blood over here, perhaps one of the men got in a blow."

"The woman said there was an attack," Vastra said, walking over she pulled out a small device to scan the blood. "I certain that if it's anyone's blood, it's those men that-," she pauses as the scanner beeps, her face puzzled with uncertainty. "That's impossible… I mean… know there is no way."

"What is matter?" Jenny asks, standing up whipping her hands of the substance.

Turning the scanner toward her lover, Vastra's eyes widen and soon Jenny's did also, "Time Lord DNA… that means that the doctor… but he wouldn't do this? Would he?"  
Vastra turned to Jenny about to speak when a sound caught their ears, turning quickly the light caught movement behind one of the large wooden desk. "Doctor?" Vastra called out, but nodded to Jenny to have her weapon ready. "Doctor it's Madam Vastra and Jenny… You remember us, right?" she said as they closed in on the desk. Looking up at each other Vastra and Jenny made a wordless agreement, before turning the corner.

They had been expecting some kind of creature, the doctor, anything but what they saw cowering hurt and scared in the corner of the room. It lay before them completely vulnerable and nonthreatening yet they both took a step back. A big step back. Its green eyes were filled with fear, anger, and pain as it clutched its side where an expanding red stain grew. "Oh god," Jenny whispered, fumbling with the light trying to get it to shine on the lone figure without getting to close.

"It can't be… I know for a fact that this is completely impossible," Vastra stated as she stepped silently closer, pulling a small machine from her handbag, causing the hurt creature to coward away.

"What does the medical scanner say?" Jenny asked, her arm held up to give the light her mistress needed. The small machine produces a soft blue light as Vastra guided it over the almost lifeless figure, before a beep echoed with its analyses.

"It's not a creature Jenny… it's her." Vastra said a confused look on her face. "I think it's time to call a doctor." There before the two, laying hurt and scared and despite the fact that she looked nothing like her previous self, they both knew in a heartbeat that the woman lying before them was none other than River Song, but something was wrong something major.

"Doctor?" her voice was harsh and raspy as if she had been denied water for weeks, suddenly the woman's eyes rolled into the back of her head as she fell into unconsciousness.

"Go get Strax having him ready a carriage we will be taking her to our home." Vastra said as she moved to examine the wound. Rising up the hem of a strange looking shirt, she winced when she was the large cut that ran from her bottom left rib to her hip. The wound was fatal, but as she goes to apply pressure a sudden strange golden glow covered the area. In only a few seconds the wound was healed, but the woman was still very much unconscious.

"She was never full time lord… how could she?" Vastra paused, her thinking when her two companions appeared ready to move the woman. "When we get her home, we will run more tests." Vastra stated as she helped load the woman into the carriage.  
_

Snow fell softly on the streets of midnight London, turning the quiet streets into beautiful works of art. However, only three would see this beauty and their minds were far from the brilliance of snow and on the sick woman hidden away from the world, and the one man that could save her. "Do you think he'll come?" Jenny asked from her position sneaking glances around the alleyway wall that ran from their house.

"I do hope so Jenny for everyone's sake," Vastra said softly as her eyes scanned the roads as well. Strax just huffed as he sat high on the coachman bench on the carriage.

"He will not show, these human pests aren't worth it anymore," Strax said, causing both Jenny and Vastra to share a grim look hoping their friend was wrong, until a voice caught their attention.

"Why do you keep doing this?" it was him yet his voice cared a no nonsense tone that chilled them all. "What is the point?" he finished stepping into the dim lantern light. "I have told you, I keep telling you I don't do this anymore I'm retired. I do regret that some got hurt, but that is not my area anymore. You're wasting your time," he added as he came into full view.

"It's different this time," Jenny said softly, her voice sounding almost hurt at the harshness of the doctors.

"Every time you say that Jenny, and yet they are all excuses," he barked as he pushed past the group walking away.

"A life hangs in the balance Doctor," Vastra called out causing the man to pause.

"There is always a life hanging in the balance, but it's no longer my worry?" he stated bluntly as he started to walk again.

"A woman was found hurt in an abounded building. She appeared in a flash of brilliant blue light, she was hurt and fought off three men, and right now she is in dire need of help, Doctor." Vastra paused, "that woman… that life just happens to be Professor River song." Vastra blurted out causing the man to stop dead in his tracks.

"That's impossible River has been dead for a long time now… her life has already be loss due to my hand," the doctor spat out over his shoulder.

"Taking out the med scanner Vastra tossed it toward the doctor who whirled around just in time to catch it. "See for yourself, then," the green skinned one shot back, and watched as the doctor glanced at the machine. In silence the three watched as he examined it. Within seconds his eyes jerked up with worry and fear. "Please doctor. She is awake, scared, and doesn't seem to know who or what she is or where she is. Her blood work is reading off the charts will stuff that even with my advance knowledge I can't figure it out-."

"Where is she?" His voice was deprived of emotion, but it was enough for the three.

"She is at our home in the infirmary," with that the man started walking again turning the corner he disappeared into the night.

"Do you think that he will go to her?" Jenny asked quietly and Vastra sighed as she reached for her lover's hand.

"I sure hope so."  
_

Raising his hand, he knocked on the door tentatively. Vastra said she was awake, but not entirely lucid yet and, to be honest, he was more than a little worried, in fact he was absolutely terrified about what he would find behind the old wooden door. Bracing himself, he slowly pushed open the door. "Hello," a thin voice croaked from the bed, drawing in his attention. It was her voice, but never had he heard it sound so venerable.

Turning slightly, he got his first look, and the image alone caused his hearts to break. Oh yes, this was most certainly River, but not his River. Her eyes once bright and filled with life snow showed dimly, her olive skin now sickly pale, her once golden curls now matted to her head, and she was so thin that he was certain he could count every rib. "Hi," he said softly after a beat. "How are you feeling?"

"My throat is a little sore," she admitted with a faint smile. "I was wondering if it wouldn't be too much trouble to ask for some water," she added sheepishly. He had met the psychopath, the adventure seeker, the protector, the lover, but never had he seen this side of her. She had always been the strong one, even when she had lost her parents she hadn't taken any time to grieve. Instead, she helped him by staying at his side through it all. Now to look at her weak, fragile form in the bed it was almost like a different person.

"Of course," he said, turning to the small pitcher pouring her a glass before returning to her side. "Here you are," he said kindly, holding the cup out to her. Pulling her hand up to get the couple he noticed the large bruise that darkens her wrist.

He had seen that many times before, it was from someone gripping her arm tightly as she fought. However, the mark didn't look proportional to a normal human hand. Pulling his eyes from the mark he coughed as he walked over, looking at the machine around her. "Hum…I'm the Doctor and -," he started, but suddenly at her voice.

"Doctor Who?" she said after swallowing, giving him a weak smile, but the doctor face fell, causing the woman before his face to fill with worry. "Did I say something wrong? I mean I heard Miss Flint and her mistress talking about a doctor that could help me… but they never gave me a name… I didn't mean to-"

"No… its fine, I get it a lot… it just-" his voice was soft as he stepped closer to her finally allowing his eyes to look deeply within her slightly dimmed ones. "You really don't know who I am… do you?" The woman reluctantly shook her head confirming the doctor and the gang theory.

"Look… hum… Doctor, I'm sorry but really, like I told the others, I don't have a clue what you're on about. I honestly can't remember." She said sadly, "all I can remember is waking up in here… with a young nurse maid named Jenny. "She told me that she knew about me and my name is River… Which is a silly name… but that's all I know."

He was just about to say something when a machine beeped drawing his attention away. Walking over he watched as an image appeared on a small screen, before being followed by a complete survey of all the test Vastra had ran. Suddenly he was marching toward her, the anger in his eyes that caused her to jerk up in fear. "Who are you?!" he shouted, causing her mouth to drop, unable to answer due to fear.

"Answer me!" he shouted, causing the woman to jerk back, knocking the cup into the floor shattering it.

"I don't know," as she whined. "All I know is what I told you-" she started fear evident in her voice, but he still pulled out his sonic pointing it at her. "Please don't hurt me…"  
The sound of River's voice echoes in and outside the large manor, as the gang pulled up to it. "Someone is here for her?" Vastra said before quickly hopping out of the carriage with Jenny close behind. Fearing the worst, they busted in the house, and raced to the door, throwing it open, hands automatically flying to their weapons.

"Doctor, what's going on?" Jenny asked uncertainly, letting her hand drop from the weapon as she took in the scene before her. The Doctor stood body tense, body looming menacingly over the rather frail looking woman who was cowering on the bed. Her body was shaking, as she stared at the man before her, not taking her eyes off him for even a moment.

"This… thing isn't River," he spat, not tearing his eyes from the shaking figure. "If you don't believe me then look at your own test… this is nothing but a brilliant trick. Best stay back in case it tries to attack." He said keeping his eyes focused on her, as she stares back fearfully.

"Doctor?" Vastra said softly, but he only pointed to the machine. "Okay… I'll take a look… I'm sure that we just-," she paused when she looked down at the results, then back up at the woman and doctor her eyes worried enough to cause concern in Jenny.

"What is it…" Jenny asked only to have Vastra turn back to the computer.

"Her DNA signature... She is River but-," she started before the doctor interrupted her.

"She is a clone, genetically altered into a full time lord, a shell that wasn't finished or worse waiting on orders from a master…. I should of guessed… they made you into an psychopath, but they need a backup plan oh… so brilliant… and that's you, right?" This time River watched as all three of them stared at her in confusion.

"I don't know what you're talking about… I don't even know how I got here," she said, her voice filled with panic as all eyes fell on her.

"Stop lying to me," he shouted, causing her to jump as tears pooled in her eyes. "You are a project, and weapon, you have a master because the real River died… and you are very much alive… but how… by whom."

"I'm not lying!" River cried fearfully. "Please! You have to believe me! I don't know anything about projects"

"Oh yes, because you're just so trustworthy," The doctor said sarcastically, "Do you really expect me to believe you haven't any recollection as to what I'm talking about?" he said bitingly.

"I'm telling the truth, I swear!" River promised eyes wide. "Please, I'd tell you more if I knew more!"

"Tell us who you are then?" Jenny said, cutting of the Doctor before he had the chance to speak again. Her tone was soothing and she looked to her with kind eyes.

"Um, River… That's what you called me before," the frightened woman said with a shrug of her bony shoulders. "I don't know anything you have asked all I remember is waking up here and having you tell me that you found me hurt and was going to help… that's it… I don't know who or where I'm from, or who the hell any of you are… let alone what you want from me," her voice pleading but even more so it was sincere.

The room went quiet as the three exchanged looks, before the Doctor finally spoke again his voice more clam. "You mean you actually don't know?" he asked, genuinely curious. The anger in his eyes had disappeared quite suddenly, replaced by that glimmer of fear and if the doctor was afraid then everyone should be

"That's what I've been trying to tell you," she said with an exasperated sigh, "And I'm sorry for whatever I did that would make you think I was here to hurt you, but I swear, I haven't got a clue as to who you all are." Jenny, Vastra and the doctor shared confused looks before they all began to stare at River again.

Suddenly the Doctor shook his head before storming out of the room. Causing River to let out a sigh of relief once he was gone, before her eyes fell on the green skinned woman, which just sighed turning toward the scared woman. "Pain can do things to one's mind… and one thing the doctor knows well is pain." Vetra placed a soft smile on her lips as she patted her hand kindly. "But deep down he is just frightening." With that, she started to the door only pausing when River spoke softly.

"Of me?" it was soft and lonely, causing the woman to turn slowly. "He's afraid of me."

She didn't answer there was no reason to answer, because the truth had just been witnessed before their eyes. "Now you need your rest…" River nodded as she slid down into the bed.

Quickly Jenny left to follow him, finding him standing at the banister of the TARDIS, as he peered out into the sliver walls. "Doctor?"

"It's not her Jenny," he said not giving the woman any time to finish. "I mean I know that it's her but… it's not real." He said as he sniffs making sure not face her.

"What makes you so sure?" she asked softly, causing the doctor to huff. "I remember someone once saying that the universe is big, it's vast and complicated, and ridiculous and sometimes very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles." Looking up the doctor shook his head almost angrily.

"Why not… why is this so much different from what happen to them? What if this is the universe's way of giving you the chance to right your wrongs." Jenny stated not giving the doctor any time to talk. "She might not be River, but part of her is. She was made from her what makes her less real then."

"Because I watched her die…" with that he turned around for the first time showing the tears in his eyes, "The first time I ever met that infuriating woman I watched her die." The comment caused Jenny to knit her brow in confusion. "Our time lines are in the wrong order, she knew everything about me and I knew nothing of her, but yet she took her own life to make sure that one day I would." Realization passed over Jenny's face.

"The whole time you two were together… you knew she was going to die." He nodded sadly. "You're not worried that she is something else… you're scared she isn't…. That though she is a clone that something in there is a very much River and you're afraid…. But of what?"

"I was the reason she was taken, the reason she didn't have a childhood, the reason she gave up her regenerations, the reason she went to prison, but most of all I was the reason she lost her parents and her life." He paused sinking into the jump chair, his head cradled his hands. "I was so selfish that I trapped her in a computer… and still from this day haven't seen her to say how sorry I was." He pauses looking up at her with sadden eyes. "I can't do it again…" he said softly. "I can't be the cause of her pain any longer."

"What happened was awful, but right now she needs you… she doesn't know what or who she is… she is utterly alone and you know better than anyone how that feels." Letting out a sigh the doctor turned and headed toward the doors. "Where are you going?" she called out.

"To apologize," a smile came to Jenny's face has she quickly heard behind him. As they entered the house and made their way through the corridor toward River, they paused seeing Vastra coming out. "How is she?" Jenny asked softly as not to alert the woman behind the door.

"A little shaken up, but other than that fine," she quickly answered, giving a glare toward the doctor.

"So, what do we do?" Jenny asked, eyeing the two.

"To be honest," Vastra said, looking at her with something close to apprehension in her eyes, "I haven't a clue. I mean, how would she know to come here…to this time"

"Vastra, its River if anything the silence is where to begin." He said with a heavy sigh.

She agreed, but something still didn't make sense. "It's just, none of this makes sense. She is a clone. To be useful why take her memories," Vastra questioned. "They would want to know everything she did and would want her to know everything about you. Plus there was the attack…"

"Attack" the doctor questioned, causing both women to look at each other before answering.

"Yes… she appeared in a bright blue flash and took out a bunch of men," Jenny added

"Flash of light… she came here by the vortex manipulator..." the doctor stated.

"That's what we thought, but she wasn't wearing one… their wasn't anything but blood… she was injured, but in a flash she was healed.."

"It takes time for a wound to heal, especially when you don't know how to do it. Which means she had been hurt long before the attack.."

"What are you saying doctor," Vastra questioned her face riddled with confusion.

"That River didn't come here alone… someone was with her… and I don't think it was to help her." Everyone in the room got quiet as they looked at each other. "We figure out who brought her here and we figure out the reason as to why."

"So the real question is what to do with her," Jenny agreed with a grimace "If there is someone else, someone that is going to use her or hurt her, and brought her here and we stopped whatever they have planned… they'll be looking for her."

"Then we want allow her to be found," With a nod they all agreed in unison.


End file.
